"Mentor" (For real this time)

From time to time we here at the GNU Public Dictatorship like to help our faithful world citizens out by telling them what we know about the people who are trying to manipulate them and control them, since at the GPD we are nothing if not concerned about helping you fit in to our organization and achieve your potential.  To that end, we are now going to share what we have learned about the man who goes by the pseudonym "Mentor" and leads a group called the Society.

First of all, we know that "Mentor" is a man and that his name at birth was Franklin Thigpen.  He was born into indigent circumstances in the mountains of Tennessee, but he soon discovered something that helped him rise above those humble beginnings and make something of himself.  He claims that it was the Secrets which are encoded in a 1216-page Manuscript that he got from a secret society, and that when he discovered them he came into himself.  Our research was inconclusive as to the cause of his sudden change of fortune.

Anyway, for the last few years Franklin a.k.a "Mentor" has been sharing the Secrets with those he considered worthy of his attention and helping them to achieve their own potential.  Secret societies are terrible at record keeping, so we have been unable to confirm that he has helped several million people as he claims, but we do know from financial records we were able to acquire that he has sold several copies of the Manuscript.  Recently Franklin read about evil office products on this forum, and, instead of heeding our warnings, decided that they were just the thing to bend people to his will.  We have had him under surveillance since he offered to by the New Company's interests in evil office products, and we have found that he is truly a force to be reckoned with.  He has a group of loyal followers that already do his will without questioning him, and if he can get more "loyal" followers by getting them dependent on his office products we will have a formidable enemy on our hands.  We are asking all of our loyal World Citizens to join us in educating the public about the dangers of evil office products so that we can keep "Mentor" from becoming a serious threat to the New Future!

"Mentor"

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not dedicated to your safety, which is why we are writing this post for your enlightenment.  As you may have already guessed based on the very succinct title of this post, it is about "Mentor", the leader of the Society, which has recently purchased the brads, hole punches, and evil stickers division from the New Company.  We were waiting for the deal to be complete before posting, but it has come to our attention that "Mentor" knew what he was getting into when he bought the evil office products.  Both "Edgar" and "Natasha" warned him of the nefarious uses and symbolism in the products, and he told them that he knew and that he was trying to expand his empire in "any way possible."

We are disappointed that "Edgar" and "Natasha" chose to sell their interest in evil office products rather than to destroy the company, but we understand that, while they both have battled addiction to these instruments of destruction that they don't feel the same moral imperative to protect others from the same fate that we, the GPD's Board of Dictators, feel.

What, you may ask, is going to be our relationship with the New Company moving forward?  How very astute of you to ask.  The truth of the matter is that we don't know how things are going to work out, but that we are still in negotiations with "Edgar" and "Natasha" to get them to stop opposing us.  It is challenging, however, as we expect them to give into our demands while we are unwilling to give into their demands.  It is, unfortunately, a common way for negotiations to go these days.  At the GPD we are nothing if not hopeful that they will come around to seeing things our way in the near future and that we will be able to include them in the New Future.  In the meantime, though, we have policies in place that allow them to operate without interference as long as they don't interfere with us.

If you have made it this far you may be asking yourself why this post was titled "Mentor" when it has had very little to do with him up to this point.  The answer to that question is that we titled the post before we wrote it, and due to a provision in our editor's policy manual we are unable to change the title of the post after we have submitted it for review.  Next time we just won't submit it for review at all!