New developments

At the GNU Public dictatorship we are nothing if not pleased to be announcing the new developments that we have recently uncovered, which is why we are taking the time to compose this post detailing the important discoveries we are talking about.  When we last posted we had two open questions that have now been resolved, at least in part.  The first was the identity of the investor that bought the brads, evil stickers, and hole punches from the New Company.  The second was whether the League and the Society are the same organization or different, competing movements within a larger coalition.

The answer to the first question is that the investor who bought the evil office products division of the New Company was none other than the subject of the second question, The Society.  The answer to the second question is that the League and the Society are both extant organizations and members of the single Coalition.  It appears that the League has been operating longer, and has been spreading the Secrets and the Manuscript to worthy and faithful members of society.  One of those members, whose given name is still a little unclear, but who goes by the pseudonym of "Mentor", decided to buy a franchise from the League.  Unfortunately, due to arcane copyright restrictions, his franchise couldn't use the name of the original League as run by "Tom", so he came up with the Society.  The two organizations are the primary members of the Coalition, which appears to be made up of at least seven different organizations that revere the same Secrets and Manuscript.  If you consider their beliefs and methods, each of these organizations might as well be the same organization.  The differences arise in the personalities of their leaders.  "Mentor" has apparently taken a shine to evil office products, but what he intends to do with them is unclear as of yet.  "Tom" did send "Mentor" a note last week informing him that his latest purchase is of an evil nature, but we haven't seen a reply from "Mentor" yet.

You can be sure that we will let you know more about the Coalition and their methods, goals, and investments as we learn more about them.  At the GPD we are nothing if not happy to share with you!

A sale!

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not thrilled that, as per their recent press release, The Company has sold off its brad and hole punch divisions to an "investor" for a mere pittance.  The "investor" remains anonymous as yet, but our operatives have confirmed that he appears to have no connections to the Brad Guys or the Brotherhoods of the Hole Punch, Unholy or Reformed.

We will be studying this "investor" closely to see what he does with these implements of evil, but it is good that we no longer have to disapprove of "Edgar" or "Natasha" as they have finally made good on their promise to not use evil office products to rule the world.  We will, however, still have to disapprove of their rival attempt to rule the world, but we will continue to make appropriate gestures of goodwill to let them know that if they will abandon their foolish enterprise which is doomed to failure anyway, that we will accept them as world citizens in the New Future!

Interesting developments

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not excited to report on my latest research project, even though there is little of substance to report.  At about the time we were subjected to the PBJ DDoS attack last year, I began receiving invitations to join an elite society referred to only as "The League."  I didn't mention anything here in this forum as I wasn't sure yet whether they were allied with our enemies or whether they are an independent force in the world, but I did start infiltrating their ranks.  It appears that the infamous Churro Note was simply their way of asking us to investigate them.  In the intervening months I have been awarded membership and given "The Secrets" that are supposed to help a person succeed and control the laws of chance and give them other superpowers like being able to read minds and control outcomes of complex situations.  Unfortunately, "The Secrets" are in code, and we have our best code breakers working on them right now.  What makes this interesting, however, is that in the days since "The Secrets" were delivered to me, "The League" has stopped contacting me, and an organization calling itself "The Society" is asking me if I have decoded "The Secrets" they gave me yet.

Whether the band of individuals called "The League" has become "The Society" or whether they have merely been supplanted by a rival faction remains to be seen.  Perhaps they are competing groups built upon the same principals but headed by different individuals, or perhaps they are just not sure what to call themselves.  You can rest assured, however, that the GPD will not rest until we know the answers to these important questions, and when we have decoded the mysterious "Secrets" for the benefit of all!