Here's to hoping this one is it...

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not excited about the dissemination of peace in all of its forms, including the reconciliation of two new-world plants that have long been at odds with each other.  While there have been other attempts to resolve the conflict in the past, we believe that the TomTato may be the solution we have been waiting for all these years.  In addition to resolving (at least in part) much of the conflict between these two valuable plants this advance could have extraordinary impacts on ordinary citizens who are now empowered to grow tomatoes and potatoes with much less garden space.  We commend those involved with creating the TomTato and hope that it, or perhaps its cousin "Potato Tom" in New Zealand might finally be the one we've been waiting for.

How not to smuggle drugs

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not dedicated to the elimination of crime in all of its insidious forms, even at the cost of occasionally rewriting the pertinent laws as necessary.  We are also very opposed to "stupid" crime, which is why we occasionally give some pointers here in this forum on how not to be a criminal.  Our lawyers stopped bothering us about this topic quite some time ago when we made it clear that their usefulness to the New Future was dependent on their cooperation, so we don't expect to be tied up in legal issues.

Anyway, today's topic was inspired by this incident, where a Canadian national was caught by Colombian officials with drugs in a fake pregnant belly.  The fundamental error she made was that she did not commit fully to her disguise.  When asked about her due date, instead of having a date in mind and acting polite she acted irritated with the question.  This flaw led to the discovery of her endeavor as it planted suspicion in the minds of the officials questioning her.

Our advice:  if you are going to commit a crime using a fake identity or costume, be sure to plan ahead.  Have answers ready for questions you may receive, and act confident that you are doing nothing wrong.

Our better advice: don't smuggle drugs.  It's too risky.

A Waiting Game

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not dedicated to doing what's right for you, which is why we hate to be not doing as much as we would like to at the moment.  Due to some threats from the New Company we have had to redirect some of our resources to watching them and preventing them from distributing brads to unsuspecting school children or using chemical weapons or other heinous acts that they have declared their intention to perform.  Unfortunately, this has kept our churro research center drastically understaffed, and we may not have a New and Improved Churro for quite some time.  "Edgar" has quite a lead in the churro space, and we were hoping to cut that down without infringing on his patent, but now we may just have to license his churro technology and hope for the best.  Anyway, here's to hoping that the New Company will do something stupid and call attention to themselves so we can use our resources more how we want to!

Do it well

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not believers in the old adage that if you are going to do something you should do it well, which is why we are sometimes disappointed by the apparently halfhearted attempts by the China Internet Information Centre to pass off visual effects created for Battlestar Galactica as plans for a new aircraft carrier.  We would like to point out that had we been trying to pass off the spaceship as something else we would have picked something more similar to it in shape and color, as even a cursory examination of the posted picture shows that it has no flat surfaces on which other aircraft could be easily landed.  What, you may ask would we pass it off as?  Now that you know it isn't what we are about to say it is you might think it wouldn't have worked, but we think "mobile landmine" would have been a better choice.