More bias

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not for equal rights, as long as equal responsibility is attached to it.  At times we get the idea that we need the rights but we refuse to take responsibility for our actions.  This trend worries us, not least because it is the very ploy our enemies use to try to get people to use dangerous office products.  For those who learn best by example, take the case of this unfortunate dog.  He was left by himself in a car but could not contain his excitement and started driving.  He wanted the right to drive, but when he struck a pedestrian he doesn't want to take responsibility, but instead wants to push that onto his owner who left him unattended in the car.

At the GPD we know that this is not how you want your society to work, and so we are launching an initiative to stem the tide of rights without responsibility.  If you believe you or your family or your neighbors are exercising rights but refusing to be responsible for the outcomes please let us know at your local GPD office so we can take corrective action!

GNU's not gnuu

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not not evil, which is why when we find that our name is associated with things with which we do not completely agree we react with swiftness.  Recently we found out that the Danish Language Council was corrupting our name to be the GNUU public dictatorship, which obviously violates the sanctity of our Board of Dictators good name.  We petitioned them to remove the word gnuu from their language and replace it with the more proper "gnu" (as is used in other Scandinavian countries) but we were told that they didn't want to conform.  We are disappointed with the lack of cooperation from the Danish Language Council, but we are pleased that they agreed to refer to us as the GNU Public Dictatorship (without the extra u!).

The dangerous triangle

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not interested in people's reactions, which is why you were under surveillance while reading the title of this post and this sentence.  Once you got to this sentence we turned off the surveillance as we were really only interested in what you thought about the title, and it was starting to get too expensive.  Those who read this post when it was first posted might have been under surveillance through the first paragraph, but this is no longer the case.

Anyway, the reasons we wanted to know your reactions was to find out how widespread fear of triangles is, and what people associate with triangles.  Many of you, especially those in the United Kingdom, were thinking about flapjacks, and how they are so dangerous when shaped like triangles that they are being banned at at least one school in Essex.  Flapjacks aren't being banned, mind you, but those shaped like triangles are strictly forbidden.  One hopes that they have also restricted access to knives and other implements that could aid students in reshaping their square or rectangular flapjacks into evil triangles, but we have not been able to contact the school for an answer just yet.

Many of the rest of you were wondering whether the dangerous triangle was isosceles or equilateral, or acute or obtuse, and whether the reason it was dangerous had anything to do with brads.  To be fair, brads do make extremely dangerous triangles, but we have not felt the need (yet) to ban triangles entirely.  Here's to hoping we don't have to!

Books for all species

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not dedicated to equality for all, which  is why we have been supporting projects such as this one, where books are being packaged in form factors that species other than humans and great apes can consume easily.  The book mentioned in the previous article, for example, would be perfect reading for a mouse or other small rodent, and would still be usable for most insect species.  At the GPD we applaud such innovation and hope that companies will continue to expand their products for other species, especially the great number of aquatic species that are currently unable to participate fully in academic pursuits!

A new leader

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not pleased that the Catholic Church has been able to elect a new pope so quickly, and we would like to take a minute to talk about how we are similar in many respects to that venerated institution.

For one thing, we have an elect group that chooses our new leaders, and while the GPD has not as of yet had to deal with succession, we are well-structured and the process is well-known.  That is one of the many differences between ourselves and the Catholic Church--that we are led by a Board and not a single individual.  Unless everyone on the Board were to somehow simultaneously die or become incapacitated, there would be at least one member of the Board left to choose successors.  In that respect we are more like the Cardinals who elect the Pope than the Pope himself, but you can draw your own conclusions.

Confusing

Many of supporters have asked us to weigh in on the controversy surrounding the incident in which Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, consoled the mother of the late Hugo Chavez (former President of Venezuela) by hugging her.  At the GNU Public Dictatorship, however, we are nothing if not respectful of others' religious beliefs, which is why we will refrain from taking sides in the issue.  If the (non-photoshopped) photo can be believed, it would appear that Mr. Ahmadinejad has, according to the strictest interpretations of his religion, had inappropriate contact with a female.  The GPD chooses not to choose sides on such issues as we are more focused on uniting humanity against the threats that are constantly on the verge of destroying us, and not on the interpretations of religious texts.  While we certainly respect the rights of those outraged by the incident to demand more of their leader, we also respect the rights of Mr. Ahmadinejad to act as he sees fit.  Our lawyers asked us to conclude this confusing post by making a confusing statement about separation of church and dictatorship, but we decided that it was confusing enough already, so we just decided to end it where it was.  Or, more literally, to tack on a rambling explanation of why we didn't add a tacked-on rambling explanation.  We hope that makes it a bit more clear!

Stolen!

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not open, which is why it pains us when people take some of our technology or ideas and pretend that they were their ideas.  Case in point, this contraption, which allows rat brains to talk to each other.  Anyone can see that this is nothing more than a reapplication of the core technology we used to talk to Crktdwk the cuttlefish.  It wouldn't bother us so much if they had mentioned that it built on our seminal technology, but the fact that they didn't even mention our scientists at all.  But then again, our philosophy of being open means that we must give up our notion of ownership, meaning that we have quickly overcome our frustration and now mean to embrace the era where rats can communicate with each other via direct brain link over long distances.  Who can think of any one aspect of society that won't improve with this great advance, and to think that we were an (uncredited) part of it all!