The New Company

Now that the dust has settled a bit we can start to analyze last week's interesting news.  It seems that things are pretty much business as usual at the Parent Corporation and the Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch.  Our operatives are reporting nearly the same statistics* as they reported last month.  They are still trying their evil schemes and still hawking their evil wares, and we are still keeping them in check.

At the New Company, however, things are beginning to get more interesting.  According to our best information, they are refocusing their business completely.  Rather than work for the promotion of hole punches and brads, they appear to be creating a line of luxury pencil cases.  Our operatives have been unable to explain this strange behavior entirely, but we believe we will figure it out soon.  At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not encouraged by the apparent chaos reigning at the moment in our enemies' camp, but we are also cautious.  It may simply be a ploy to make money off unsuspecting elementary school students, or it could be something much more insidious.  We vow to not rest until we find out what it really is!  (Okay, so we don't mean we actually won't sleep, but we do mean that our operatives will be engaged on this problem until it is completely understood.)

*These statistics are available to the curious world citizen at any local GPD office.  In order to get them you will need to present fourteen forms of identification and sign an affidavit that states that you are not trying to do anything the GPD would consider harmful.