A Harrowing Experience

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not pleased that the US Federal Government shutdown is over for now, and we would like to thank all of our operatives for their tireless work to manipulate the outcome.  Unfortunately, while the government was shut down there was a worrisome increase in the sales of hand-held hole punches and brads, and we have seen a number of events that used to be hole-punch-free suddenly embrace the dangerous office products as if they were harmless.

I recently attended a fundraiser carnival at a local school, and while most of the tickets were marked using markers or other innocuous methods, at least seven of the ticket-takers were wielding hand-held punches, indiscriminately exposing young children to them and sending an implicit message that "my school accepts hole punches as harmless."  While we have had much success in convincing many that their ways are in error, there is a dangerous viral trend at the moment to consider hole punches "so much less evil" than other things that they are all but ignored by local regulatory bodies.  Rest assured that our operatives are working long and hard to reverse this trend, but we would ask all of you to lend your support to the cause so that we can keep our children from being deceived by these dastardly purveyors of evil!

Shutdown

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not concerned about the recent US Federal Government shutdown and the impending default on government payments, which is why we have been focusing heavily on influencing events over the last two weeks.  Some of our supporters have accused us of shutting ourselves down and ignoring world events, but nothing could be further from the truth.  While we have been quiet, we have not been inactive.  Our reach is increasing, and we are using it to try to make the most of the US Federal Government shutdown, turning it to our advantage and hopefully using it to crush our adversaries and regain once and for all the upper hand!  Oh, and we're also trying to get things back to normal as quickly as possible so our supporters who happen to be federal employees or dependent on federal employees for their livelihood won't have to suffer.  In the meantime, feel free to drop by your local GPD office to get a shutdown survival kit!