Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Progress

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not dedicated to constant progress.  While we know that sometimes we may not progress as quickly as we would like to progress, we are always progressing.  The last few months have been slow if you use some of the more traditional measures of progress, such as measuring operations/day or new supporters/hour, but they have been tremendously productive.  We have spent a great deal of time restructuring the Board of Dictators and its surrounding institutions to make it more efficient and more able to quickly respond to threats from the New Company and other individuals bent on destruction and mayhem.  As a result, there has been less mayhem and fewer incidents, and as a result, fewer operations have been necessary.  Unfortunately, we have seen an increase in activity at the New Company in recent days, so we suspect we may have to play a more prominent role in your lives.  Just let us know when you will be showering or otherwise indisposed using form 532ERTU012-K so that we don't barge in on you unannounced.  Remember that this form should be submitted in triplicate no later than tomorrow evening in your local county GPD offices.  Don't procrastinate, and don't say we didn't warn you!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Hiatus: a FAQ

Many of our supporters have been writing in religiously to tell us that we aren't posting anything, and warning us that our former editor may still be controlling this forum, and we have been so busy as of late that we haven't taken the time to assure them that Gertrude is still imprisoned in the GNU Public Dungeons, and that, while she does have access to power tools as we are making her construct improvements to her own cell, she does not have internet-capable devices and cannot possibly be controlling this forum.  What's more, we have been involved in creating the GNU Public Gardens surrounding the GPD headquarters, and between that, the improvements to the GNU Public Dungeons, and several summer activities that inevitably take up the time you plan for other things we have been so swamped that we haven't seen fit to post here.  Regardless of the reasons, there is one more salient fact to note: with the Parent Corporation being nearly inert the New Company is our only organized foe, and they have been busy rewiring their phone and data systems for the past month and have not done anything of note.  For the curious, a frequently asked questions is printed below, with the answers being given first, in Jeopardy style.

A.  A break or gap, as in the writing on this forum.
Q.  What is a hiatus?

A.  The GNU Public Gardens and improvements to the GNU Public Dungeons.
Q.  What has been consuming the bulk of the GPD's time?

A.  A large lawn surrounded by planter beds for exotic plants and animals.
Q.  What are the GNU Public Gardens?

A.  Visits to the GNU Public Theme Park and local water parks
Q.  What are some of the other activities taking up the GPD's time?

A.  Because we felt like it
Q.  Why is this FAQ in Jeopardy format?

If you came up with the correct questions please fill out form UIE-9E772Q and submit it to your local GPD County office for compensation.